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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648264">The Great Crash</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MimmyWrites/pseuds/MimmyWrites'>MimmyWrites</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxceit is the reason I breathe, Creativitwins is kinda cute too, Janus fights for gay rights, Janus is a pure peasant boy, Logan shows up at the end, M/M, Moceit is cute, Remy's purpose is to give Logan his last name, Roman is a prince</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:33:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MimmyWrites/pseuds/MimmyWrites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Roman Kingsley is set to choose a princess on the night on January 31st, 1926. But he ends up meeting someone much more interesting than any upper-class lady he's ever met.</p><p>Let's ignore the fact that there wasn't royalty in the US in the 1920s for the sake of this story. Thanks.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Great Crash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Triggers include:<br/>- Mentions of murder/robbery<br/>- Hints of past racism (It's the 1920's, you can't expect any better, I guess)<br/>- Quite a few mentions of death<br/>- Breakup/heartbreak<br/>- Anxiety attack (I think, correct me if I'm wrong)<br/>- Skipping meals (not because of an eating disorder though)<br/>- Making out<br/>- Valerian overdose (dizziness, vomiting)<br/>- Weight loss<br/>- Fainting<br/>- 1929 drama<br/>- Death (not shown bc I decided to skip like 90 years)</p><p>I think that's it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Patton and Janus had grown up together since they were only eight and five respectively. It wasn’t a usual case. But, again, Janus wasn’t normal. He was the first biracial kid in the State. He was the son of a white man and a black woman. People didn’t like that. Some parents made their kids stay away from him. But his mother worked for Patton’s mother and that made the two boys become close friends in no time despite Janus’ shyness.</p><p>That changed in time. Janus’ personality changed. His shyness had been replaced by the most snarky personality anyone had ever seen. Patton, on the other hand, was as sweet and gentle as ever. It was a mystery how they were so close. They were fire and water. One snarky and mean, and the other friendly and kind.</p><p>Today was a very special day. Prince Roman Kingsley, his brother, Duke Remus Kingsley, and their advisor, Virgil Stein, were visiting. And there were rumors that Prince Roman was going to ask someone in the party to be his princess and future queen. Luckily, and unfortunately, the party was held at Patton’s family’s home. Every upper-class girl was already there, wearing their best gowns.</p><p>Patton smiled, looking at himself in the mirror. He wore a light blue tuxedo and his hair brushed back so his curls were barely noticeable. He hummed softly as he fixed his clothes. He had to look his best if he was meeting the prince.</p><p>There was a knock on the door and Patton grinned, opening the door. “Welcome to my humble dwelling, Jan-” His eyes widened at the sight. “Dear God, what are you wearing?!” Janus raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “The royal family will be here any minute!” He dragged Janus into his room and closed the door.</p><p>Janus huffed and looked at him. “Look, Pat, I don’t care about them. I’m not an upper-class lady. I don’t need to make an impression on them. I’m not even interested in meeting them. I’ll just stay up here and watch from the balcony if I’m interested to see if all those ladies have suffocated you.” He chuckled, looking at him and sitting on the bed he slept in. Patton rolled his eyes and opened the door, shooting him a look. Janus raised his hands. “I won’t ruin the party this time, I swear.”</p><p>Patton nodded and walked out, closing the door and leaving Janus inside. He wanted Janus to join him at the party, but he knew that once Janus said no to something, nothing would change his mind.</p><p>Hours passed, and it was getting late. Janus could hear the party in the garden. All the guests talking at once was an extremely annoying sound when Janus was trying to sleep. He heard something in the balcony and frowned, sitting up on the bed. “Patton?” he called, cautiously getting up. He looked around for something to defend himself if he had to, but Patton only had soft things in his room. He bit his lip and pulled out a knife. Let’s just say being him wasn’t easy. He walked over and waited.</p><p>Someone jumped over the railing of the balcony and made their way inside the room. Janus bit his lip, gripping the knife. He waited for them to be close enough and grabbed their wrist. He pinned them against the wall, holding the knife against his throat, and turned the light on.</p><p>He frowned as he saw the man’s attire. He wore a white shirt with golden accents, black pants, and a red sash. But he didn’t back down.</p><p>“Who are you?” he hissed. “What are you doing here?” He didn’t loosen his grip in the slightest as he spoke. He looked at him and bit his lip. Royalty or not, he had climbed through a window and entered a stranger’s house.</p><p>The prince’s eyes narrowed as he looked down at the younger peasant. He was no more than seventeen, that much was obvious. And he wasn’t going to be threatened by a child. “I could have you hanged for this,” he said. Janus glared up at him before letting go and stepping back. “Would a bow be too much to ask?” His tone was cold, almost like Janus’ had been for years.</p><p>“It would be. And yes, you could have me hanged for this. Because you and your… people are too imbecile to understand the meaning of self-defense. Prince or not, you broke in here through the window.” Janus spoke with a certain superiority, almost challengingly. “Would a reason be too much to ask?” he mocked the prince’s words.</p><p>Roman nearly bared his teeth at the boy. “Yes. I’m in my kingdom. I don’t have to give you an explanation.”</p><p>“I know this is your kingdom, oh my prince~. But this is not your house.” He growled, stepping closer with his knife drawn. “If I’d broken into one of your many properties, I would be killed in just hours, that, if you or anyone else didn’t kill me with a sword,” he said.</p><p>Roman swiftly grabbed Janus’ left wrist, pulling it behind his back. “As far as I know, this isn’t your house either,” he muttered into Janus’ ear. “Don’t try to play hero, kid. I’m always the one who walks away.” He pushed Janus away, making him stumble to the floor. He pulled out his sword, glaring at him. “I’ve killed younger people for less.”</p><p>Janus looked up at him, eyes wide in fear. “I didn’t do anything!” he shouted, shaking lightly. The door busted open and two guards rushed inside. “What-” He frowned as they pulled him to his feet and made him drop to his knees. “I didn’t- I didn’t do anything…” he said again, the look of hatred quickly replaced by pure terror. He was afraid of dying. He had only been truly afraid once in his life and it wasn’t fun either.</p><p>Roman looked at him, trying to keep a cold look on his face. He noticed the fear in Janus’ eyes. He was a kid. He was just a kid running away from a party crowd. He bit his lip and sighed. “Leave him,” he said. “He didn’t do anything, it was my fault. Let him go.” He looked at the guards, who looked back at him confused. “Can you not follow an order given by your prince?” He hissed. “I said, let him go.”</p><p>The guards looked down at Janus and stepped back from him before bowing at Roman and walking out.</p><p>Roman stepped closer to Janus, holding his hand out. “Are you alright?” he asked softly. He could recognize that paralyzing fear anywhere. He carefully pulled him up and walked him to the unmade bed. “Hey, can you hear me?” The prince asked gently. The boy didn’t respond, in any way. Roman sighed, he had to cut deep for him to react. “How did they die?” he asked.</p><p>Janus suddenly looked up at him. “What…?” he breathed out. “How… how do you-?”</p><p>A sad smile formed on Roman’s lips. “I lost my mother, too. I could nearly see what happened in your eyes, so full of terror…” Janus bit his lip and looked down. “How did it happen?” he asked again.</p><p>“Why do you care?” he asked, looking at him. “I don’t think you care. I don’t think this is your place to be.” He said. “So, just leave and get married or whatever.” He got up and looked around. He could feel Roman’s gaze burning the back of his head.</p><p>“Are you jealous?” Roman asked with a smirk. Janus glared at him. “I’m sorry, you’re not my type,” he said. “You could be Remus’, but I’m afraid he’s… not available.” Janus’ glare darkened. “Relax, I’m not being serious!” He chuckled. “But, in all seriousness, what-?”</p><p>“A robbery gone wrong…” Janus’ voice was quiet and fragile. “Three men… they knew who my mother worked for and they thought we had money…” He walked back to the bed and sat next to Roman. “We had nothing. Patton’s parents paid for everything… that was their way of paying us. Once they found out, they killed them both and took my sister…”</p><p>Roman frowned, feeling bad for the strange boy. “How old were you?” he asked, looking at him. Janus looked down and Roman sighed. “Too young to see something like that…” he muttered with a hushed tone.</p><p>Janus nodded. “I was 7… well, not yet. It was three days before my birthday,” he said quietly. “No one looked for them… the murder of a poor family wasn’t the priority. Especially when one of them was black…” he muttered.</p><p>Roman looked down and nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said. “How old are you now?” he asked. “You seem very young,” he pointed out.</p><p>Janus looked at him, a small smile tugging at his lips. “‘I’m-”</p><p>“Prince Roman!” a voice called from out of the room.</p><p>Janus looked up and Roman sighed. “That’s Virgil Stein, the royal advisor,” he said. “In here!” he called back. The door opened and Janus looked down, feeling like he was sitting too close to the Prince. He shifted back slightly as the royal advisor stepped inside the room.</p><p>“Hello, Lord Stein, what am I needed for?” he asked, looking at him. He knew exactly what Virgil was there for, but he wanted Virgil to tell him himself. He spared a glance at Janus, noticing how uncomfortable the boy was.</p><p>Virgil bowed lightly. “I don’t think I need to remind you what we’re here for, my Prince. Your princess can’t wait forever. And neither can we,” he said. Roman sighed and stood up. “Your brother is beginning to… find ways to embarrass the royal family,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, almost awkwardly.</p><p>“I’m not the one who’s meant to make sure he isn’t doing that, Lord Stein,” he said. “And I have met most ladies at this party, I am talking to Mr…” He turned to glance at Janus questioningly.</p><p>“Uh… Janus Dorman,” he said, looking at them and standing up, bowing lightly. “I’m not a priority here, Your Highness.” He spoke quietly, seemingly intimidated by Virgil. “Lord Stein, I’m sorry for distracting the prince from his duty-”</p><p>“Do not apologize for that, I was the one who climbed through the window. Lord Stein, go try to keep the Duke under control, I will be there in a moment,” he said.</p><p>Virgil noticed Janus’ uneasiness and gave him a small smile. “No need to worry, kid. I won’t do you any harm,” he said. “Prince Roman does things like this to run from his responsibilities.”</p><p>Janus glanced at Roman and smiled lightly. “Careful, Lord Stein, I’m still your prince.” Roman chuckled lightly. He looked at Virgil again. “I promise I will be there, go make sure the Duke doesn’t burn this beautiful home down.”</p><p>Virgil looked at him and bowed. “Your Highness. Mr. Dorman, it was a pleasure,” he said before leaving.</p><p>Roman turned to Janus with a small smile. “Well, Mr. Dorman, it was certainly a pleasure, but I must go now.” Janus looked up at him for a moment. “Care to walk with me to the balcony?” he asked softly, offering him a hand.</p><p>Janus looked at him and down at his hand before taking it hesitantly. Roman started to walk slowly towards the balcony. He had a weird look in his eyes, almost distant. “Is- is everything alright, Your Highness?” he asked quietly, afraid he’d be interrupting some important thought.</p><p>Roman looked at him as they stepped outside into the cold breeze. “Yes, I’m just thinking,” he said. “There are important decisions I have to make,” he said, looking ahead. He noticed freckles on Janus’ pale skin. It wasn’t usual for a peasant to be pale, especially one of mixed race. “Did anyone ever tell you that your freckles look beautiful when gently grazed by the moonlight?” he asked.</p><p>Janus blinked for a moment and tilted his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t- I don’t think I understand…” he said. He looked slightly confused, yet he seemed to know what Roman meant as a light blush dusted his cheeks.</p><p>Roman looked at him for a moment before looking around at the many flower pots Patton had around in his balcony. He smiled and picked up a yellow poppy. He turned back to Janus and glanced at the flower. He noticed Janus shiver lightly and smiled. “Here, a small gift for the inconvenience,” he said, handing him the flower. “It looks fragile, but it can be deadly, just like you.” He smiled.</p><p>Janus looked at the flower and smiled. “How is it a gift if it wasn’t yours?” He looked up at him and tilted his head, slightly curious. He frowned as he saw Roman unclipping his cape. A cape he hadn’t even noticed. It was white and red and reached to his hips. “What…?”</p><p>Roman smiled lightly and carefully wrapped the cape around Janus’ shoulders. “Take this until I return,” he said before leaning closer and kissing his cheek.</p><p>Janus froze as Roman’s lips touched his skin. So soft and gentle. Was that really how Prince Roman Kingsley was? Gentle and caring? Or was that a part he played, pretending to be charming, while, behind closed doors, he was cruel and ruthless?</p><p>Wait. “Return?” he asked, looking at him as the prince got ready to descend from the balcony. “You’ll return?”</p><p>Roman smiled gently. “Of course, I have to make my decision and return to let the chosen one know,” he said. “Keep the cape, I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold, Mr. Dorman,” he said. “Until then, stay safe.” He smiled. “Good night.” Before Janus could respond, he started climbing down.</p><p>Janus looked at the poppy and smiled. He felt himself blush lightly and looked over, seeing Roman walk away, back to the crowd, and turning to look up at him. The Prince smiled before leaving.</p><p>He smiled and turned, walking back inside. He put the cape down, setting it, gently, at the end of the bed. He found himself unable to stop smiling for some reason. He looked at the flower again and set it on the bedside table. He knew that, even if he put it in a vase filled with water, the flower was dead and wouldn’t last more than a few hours. But the gesture... He smiled again and got in bed, hoping the party would end soon and Patton return.</p><p>After a while, Janus had lost track of time, the door opened and his friend walked in. “Still alive? I thought you’d died,” he said, sitting up.</p><p>Patton chuckled, sitting on his bed and looking at Janus. “It was crazy, Janus. Prince Roman went missing for over half an hour! Can you believe that?” he exclaimed. “No one knows where he went before reappearing in the crowd.”</p><p>Janus blushed and he shrugged. “Go figure…” he said. “Did he find someone to marry?” he asked, intrigued for some reason.</p><p>Patton gave him a strange look. “You didn’t care a few hours ago, why do you care now? What changed your… mind…?” he asked. Janus frowned lightly, confused by Patton’s sudden change in speech. “Is that… Prince Roman’s cape?” He stood up and walked to Janus’ bed.</p><p>The boy quickly grabbed the cape, not wanting Patton to touch it. “No. I was cold and found it in your wardrobe. So, unless you had the Prince’s cape in there, it isn’t.”</p><p>“Janus, you know I can spot one of your lies from a mile away.” He crossed his arms as Janus hugged the cape. “Why do you have that? How did you get it?” he asked, sitting on the bed and looking at Janus with one of those looks the other knew he wouldn’t let it go.</p><p>Janus shrugged. “He gave it to me…” he said, looking down. “He got in through the balcony, I threatened to kill him, he threatened to kill me, he saved me from death, we talked and he gave it to me…” Patton looked at him. “He also gave me a yellow poppy and kissed my cheek… and promised to come back for it when he returns…” he said quietly, blushing.</p><p>“Oh… oh, no…” Patton muttered, running a hand through his hair. “You’re falling…” He sighed. “Look, Jan… as adorable as this is, he’s a prince. And, no offense, but, as you said earlier, you’re not an upper-class lady… Falling for him is only going to hurt you in the end, Janus.” Janus frowned. “Not to mention, you’re a kid-”</p><p>“What? My birthday is in three days! I’m no kid!” He exclaimed.</p><p>Patton frowned. “Exactly. Three days, Janus. Maybe the anniversary of what happened is affecting you and you need to be cared for,” he said softly, moving closer to him.</p><p>“Oh, I’m making stuff up now? I’m a liar?” He hissed. “Prince Roman did that. Don’t believe me if you don’t want to, but don’t call me a liar.” He growled. “I’m not a liar.”</p><p>Patton stood up, walking back to his bed. “You know that’s not what I meant,” he said. “Janus, he’s a prince. He flirts and leaves. If you fall for him, he’s going to break your heart.”</p><p>Janus bit his lip and shook his head. “No. No, he’s not,” he said. “He’s not like that. He would never hurt me.”</p><p>Patton sighed. “Fine. But don’t come crying when he does.” He looked at him and laid down, turning the light off. “Good night, Janus…” he muttered before going to sleep.</p><p>-</p><p>Janus sat on the grass of Patton’s house’s garden. He hadn’t spoken to Patton properly since the night of the party. He wondered when Roman would be returning… for the cape, of course. He sighed. Who was he kidding? He was falling hard for Roman. It had been over a month, and he couldn’t get the Prince off his head since the party. In all honesty, he missed Roman. He’d only spoken to him for a bit that night, and half of it was in killing each other terms, but he missed him so much.</p><p>“Wait, I must make a stop here,” Roman said, looking out of the window. He glanced at Virgil, who shot him a look. He rolled his eyes. “I won’t take long, I’m sure Lady Mary won’t mind me being a bit late while I go get my cape back.”</p><p>Virgil sighed. “I will go with you. I will make sure you don’t take too long.” He raised an eyebrow and Roman nodded slowly. “Wait here, we will be back soon.” Roman opened the door and got off, not bothering to wait for Virgil as the royal advisor followed him. “Roman, are you sure this is a good idea? From what you’ve told me, Janus Dorman really likes you. And he’s a kid. You shouldn’t be coming here if he feels something for you. I can go get the cape so he-”</p><p>A gasp was heard on the other side of the white fence. “Your Highness. Lord Stein. It’s good to see you both again.” Janus smiled, walking over to them. Once he was close enough, he bowed lightly. He glanced back at the house. It was empty and he knew Patton and his parents wouldn’t be back in a few days. “Come on in. Your Highness, I will bring you the cape now.”</p><p>Roman smiled fondly. “Thank you, Mr. Dorman.” Roman looked at him, noticing a light blush on the boy’s cheeks, something Virgil seemed to notice as well.</p><p>Janus opened the gates for them and led the way inside. “I will be right back,” he said. He bowed again and turned to leave, walking back up the stairs.</p><p>Roman smiled as Janus walked away. “This Mary girl… are you sure I have to marry her?” he asked. Virgil’s eyes widened and Roman laughed. “Relax, I’m kidding. I’m the prince, it’s what I have to do.” He smiled. “Go to the car, I’ll be there soon,” he said before going the same way Janus had, up the stairs.</p><p>He got to the hallway and bit his lip as he heard soft humming. He smiled lightly, following the sound. He reached an open door. It was the room where they first met. “A beautiful boy with a beautiful voice. I should have expected it,” he said, leaning against the doorframe.</p><p>Janus jumped before turning to the door. “I- I’m sorry, Your Highness. I should’ve-” he stuttered nervously. Roman raised an eyebrow and smiled at the other’s blush.</p><p>“No need to worry. I enjoyed it… what I could hear, at least,” he said softly, walking in and closer to Janus. The boy stepped back, slightly tense. “You seem nervous. Why?” he asked. “I thought we were friends.”</p><p>Janus looked up at him, noticing he was closer. “I- I-” Janus stuttered, completely forgetting what he was going to say. He held the cape in his left hand as he looked at Roman. “Th- the cape…” His heart was pounding and, shockingly enough, he wanted to get out of there. He could feel how sweaty his hands were getting. He could feel his breathing stuttering and his face flush more and more. Was it hot in there or was it just him? Wait… it was March, it couldn’t be hot. Great, he was dying.</p><p>Roman smiled lightly, looking down at him. “Are you alright, Mr. Dorman?” he asked softly, noticing the dark blush on Janus’ face. The boy nodded and Roman smiled. “Maybe you should take off that jacket,” he suggested.</p><p>Janus looked at him through his top lashes. His eyes were glassy, almost teary. The thought of Roman marrying some high standing lady hurt so much it brought tears to his eyes. He was hopelessly in love with Prince Roman Kingsley and there was nothing he could do to stop the clenching of his chest and quickening of his heart.</p><p>Roman noticed the tears in his eyes and frowned. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly. Janus shook his head, looking down. “Look at me,” he said, almost demandingly. Roman’s hand slowly and subtly made its way down Janus’ right arm, gently holding his hand.</p><p>Janus tensed up slightly. His thoughts were running a thousand miles per hour. He was sure he was so hot he was about to burst. He was going to burst and become a pile of ashes and he was going to traumatize Roman and-.</p><p>Suddenly, his mind went completely silent.</p><p>Roman frowned as he noticed the panic in Janus’ eyes. He bit his lip and pulled him closer. Janus didn’t seem to notice. He had to fix him before leaving, and only one thing seemed right. Only one thing /felt/ right.</p><p>He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against Janus’.</p><p>Janus’ eyes widened and the world stopped. That couldn’t be happening. He dropped the cape and moved his hand to Roman’s neck. He needed to feel him close. He needed to be sure it was real. That Roman was really there kissing him.</p><p>Roman smiled into the kiss and let go of his hand. He wrapped his arms around the other’s waist. He pulled Janus closer, deepening the kiss, Janus closed his eyes and let Roman guide him through it.</p><p>Janus slowly moved his free hand to Roman’s hair, playing with it gently. He couldn’t even begin to describe what he felt. It was gentle, so very gentle. It was soft, but it was also firm. The way Roman’s lips felt against his was just… perfect. Roman was perfect.</p><p>Roman broke the kiss and slowly pull back, opening his eyes. He smiled lightly, looking at him. “Better?” he asked softly as Janus opened his eyes. Janus bit his lip and nodded. “Good, I couldn’t leave you like that. Your eyes are too beautiful to have tears in them,” he said with a small smile.</p><p>Janus frowned when Roman turned to leave. He looked down and reached out, grabbing his wrist, which made Roman freeze in his tracks. “Please… don’t go, yet,” he said quietly, barely above a whisper. He slowly looked up. A part of him expected the prince to stay, the other expected him to confuse him with pretty words and then leave.</p><p>Roman looked at him, trying to summon the will to leave. He couldn’t. He walked closer to Janus again and kissed him. It wasn’t like the first one. This one was almost rough. It was a dream with their reality in it. Something they both wanted -needed, even- but couldn’t have. It was a reminder of reality in the ‘Jazz Age’. The Roaring 20’s, a time when all American man who had survived the war could get whatever they dreamed for. The time when everyone was wealthy.</p><p>A time when everyone got what they wanted. Even Janus Dorman.</p><p>Janus was pushed back and fell on the bed. Roman pulled back, looking at him. “What is it that makes you so beautiful, Mr. Dorman?” he asked softly, Janus looked away and blushed. Roman smiled, leaning down and kissing him again and pulling him up so he was sitting up.</p><p>Before Janus had time to melt into the kiss, Roman broke the kiss and stepped back, admiring Janus’ flushed face and parted lips as he panted. “Well, Mr. Dorman… I’m afraid this is goodbye for now.” Janus frowned, looking up at him. “I have someone to meet. I will be back soon. Keep the cape to make sure I do.” He smiled lightly</p><p>Janus looked at the cape on the floor and back up at Roman. “How soon?” he asked with the slightest pout.</p><p>Roman gave him a small smile and kissed him softly. “Soon. As soon as I’m back in town,” he said, Janus didn’t seem convinced despite his nod. “I promise, I’ll come back to see you,” he reassured. “I’ll be back as soon as possible.” He looked at him and kissed his cheek. “Think of it as a see you later,” he said.</p><p>Janus smiled lightly and nodded. “Goodbye, Your Highness,” he said softly as Roman walked out of the room. He hesitantly brushed his fingertips against his lips. There was still a dark blush on his face. He looked at the cape again and turned, hiding his face against the pillow.</p><p>“Where were you?” Virgil asked as Roman entered the car. He frowned as he saw his messy hair. “No. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” Roman raised his hands defensively. “Are you fucking insane?!” he hissed. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” he asked. “If someone finds out, you’re over.”</p><p>“Who’s going to find out? He won’t say a word, and no one else knows. Let’s just get this done and go home, I don’t want to be lectured.” Roman ran a hand through his hair, fixing it a little.</p><p>-</p><p>“I’m sorry, you did what?!” Remus shouted, his voice echoing in the hall. “Are you crazy?!” he asked, looking at Roman. “Do you have any idea of what that can bring upon you? Shame! Lots of shame.”</p><p>Roman huffed. “Not you too. If someone in this castle isn’t entitled to yell at me for my decisions, that’s you, Remus.” He crossed his arms.</p><p>“You can’t just sleep around with a guy!” he said.</p><p>“Okay, first of all, it was just a kiss. And second, you’re dating Virgil! Why are you allowed to and I’m not?” he asked with a frown. “It makes no sense.”</p><p>Remus grinned. “Well, it does. I’ve always been the disgrace of the Kingsley royal family, one more thing to bring shame upon the family doesn’t change anything. It’s not worth talking about. But you are the prince. You can’t do that.” Roman rolled his eyes. “You’re the one meant to clean the family name.”</p><p>“Well, I really like him. He’s adorable and blushy whenever he sees me… besides, I’m already getting married, isn’t that enough?” He frowned. “What do you expect me to do?”</p><p>Remus glanced at Virgil, who sighed. “You know what you’re meant to do. You don’t even know each other, and he’s a sweet guy, it’ll hurt more the longer you keep leading him on.” Roman looked down. “I can’t guarantee that he won’t be hurt… that you won’t be hurt… but it’s the best option,” he said. “He will easily find someone.”</p><p>Roman bit his lip and sighed. “What do I do after that?” he asked. He trusted Virgil with his life despite the incomprehensible decision of dating his brother.</p><p>“You let him go and become the prince you’re expected to be,” he said. “But do it the next time you see him. Don’t lead him on any longer or it’ll be too painful.” Roman nodded, looking down. “You’ve been invited to have dinner with Lady Mary and her family next week… you should do it then.”</p><p>“Fine… I’ll tell him whatever it is we have is over as soon as I see him.”</p><p>-</p><p>Janus’ face lit up as he saw Roman walk towards the gate. It’d been four months since they last saw each other. Roman hadn’t attended the dinner with his fiancee due to his father’s decease. He was going to be the king soon and was on a tight schedule to get married. But he couldn’t without talking to Janus. They’d sent letters to each other, and Janus felt like they were in a secret relationship. All those letters were making the boy fall more and more in love with Roman.</p><p>“Welcome back, Your Highness,” he said as he opened the door. He looked at him and smiled, kissing his cheek. He bowed lightly. “I’ll go get the cape right away,” he said, turning to leave to Patton’s room.</p><p>Roman bit his lip and grabbed his wrist, making him stop. “Janus, wait,” he said softly, getting the boy’s attention. “I… this needs to stop…” he said quietly. Janus looked at him with a frown. “You are amazing and adorable. You are the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. But this can’t continue. I'm sorry, Janus... I'm sorry. But I'm the prince... my duty is to marry a noblewoman and have offsprings. You can't fit in that role."</p><p>Janus froze, shaking his head lightly. He couldn’t lose Roman… he was everything he had left. "Roman, I- please... please, don't go... I don't- I can't-" he stuttered, looking up at him.</p><p>Roman bit his lip and looked down. He didn’t want to see him hurt. "You have Patton-" He tried to make Janus see he wasn’t alone. That Roman wasn’t the most important thing in Janus’ life.</p><p>Janus frowned and snatched his arm out of Roman’s grip. Patton was right? It couldn’t be true. Patton couldn’t be right! /He/ couldn’t be wrong?! "Patton?! Patton hates me because of you! He hates me since the night of the party,” he hissed. He was angry. He was angry at Roman. He was angry at himself. He was angry at Patton for being right.</p><p>Roman froze for a second, looking at him wide-eyed. "What? Janus... Where have you been staying since then?" He reached out, placing a gentle hand on Janus’ cheek, concern written all over his face.</p><p>Janus tensed up, pushing Roman away. "Don't touch me! It's none of your business." He glared at him darkly.</p><p>"Janus-" Roman started, stepping closer again. He didn’t mean to hurt him. He didn’t mean to lead him on. He wanted to help him.</p><p>Janus stepped back, shaking his head. He shut his eyes tightly, not wanting Roman to see the tears in them. "No! Leave if I am not in your future."</p><p>Roman frowned, but he didn’t move this time. It was clear Janus was hurt and Roman hated knowing he was the cause. "Janus-"</p><p>Janus turned, ready to leave up the stairs. "I said, go, Your Highness." His voice was firm but quiet. Roman sighed and nodded, turning and leaving. Before closing the door, he saw Janus, walking up the stairs. And he could swear, he was crying.</p><p>Roman got in the car, not saying a word. Both Remus and Virgil knew better than to speak when Roman was upset over something.</p><p>The door to Patton’s bedroom opened slowly. A quiet sniffle was heard from the outside, getting Patton’s attention. Patton looked up from the book he was reading, frowning as he saw Janus there with tears running down his face. He was angry at him, but he hated seeing him hurt.</p><p>“You were right…” Janus whimpered, walking in and sitting on his bed, hugging his knees close to his chest.</p><p>Patton frowned, carefully walking over and sitting beside him. He gently wrapped an arm around him. “I’m sorry, Janus… if someone doesn’t deserve heartbreak, that’s you,” he said softly. He bit his lip and gently lifted Janus’ head so he could look at him properly. “I think you should show him what he just lost,” he said. “I think he needs to see what a sweetheart you are.”</p><p>Janus looked at him. “He kissed me… we’ve been sending each other letters for four months…” he trailed off. Patton’s eyes widened as Janus spoke, but he didn’t dare to interrupt him. He was sure the breakdown would come soon enough. “He said I don’t fit in his future.”</p><p>Patton smiled lightly. “He led you on for months, let’s make him see how wrong he is,” he said, wiping away Janus’ tears. “Everyone needs a sweet and good influence… especially His Royal Highness.” He smiled.</p><p>Janus looked at him. “But… how? The wedding is coming up, a- and I can't just… break into the castle…” he hiccuped, looking down.</p><p>Patton smiled lightly, gently lifting Janus’ chin. “Exactly. The Royal wedding is just around the corner. And you can be the meanest person I’ve ever met. He’s only seen your sweetest, most loving side. Show him what he’s given up. Make him regret ever considering hurting you.”</p><p>Janus quickly shook his head, tears running down his face. “N- no… I c- can’t…” he whimpered, gasping softly as his chest tightened unbearably.</p><p>Patton frowned. “Yes, you can, Jan. You are incredibly strong. You go to the wedding and make him regret ever messing with Janus Dorman.”</p><p>Janus whimpered, opening his mouth to say something. The boy gripped Patton’s shirt and shut his eyes. He couldn’t breathe. He gasped for breath, soft, pained moans leaving his lips from time to time.</p><p>Patton bit his lip, looking at him gently. “Janus… look at me.” He didn’t make him move, this time. He waited, smiling warmly as Janus opened his eyes and looked at him. “Breathe. I’m right here, it’s all going to be okay,” he said softly. “Follow my lead, okay? It’s just like when we were younger, yeah?”</p><p>Janus nodded with a soft whimper, still clinging onto him.</p><p>“It’s all going to be okay, Janus. Breathe in, as deeply as you can, through your nose.” Janus looked at him. He took a short and choppy breath, whimpering at the tightness in his chest. Patton gave him a small, reassuring smile. “I’ve got you,” he said softly.</p><p>There was a soft knock on the open door and Patton turned. He didn’t stand up, and he felt terrible for not doing so, but he was busy. “Lord Stein,” he said. Janus froze and stopped trying to breathe. “I’m sorry I’m not bowing down but…”</p><p>Virgil raised a hand in dismissal and frowned lightly as he saw Janus. “What’s wrong?” he asked, walking closer. He recognized the symptoms. “He can’t breathe…” he trailed off before Patton could respond. “I struggle with chest tightness and shortness of breath myself. May I?” he asked softly.</p><p>Patton nodded. “Hey, Jan? Lord Stein is here to help. I’ll be right here,” he said softly, gently taking Janus’ hands off his shirt. Janus whimpered softly, but he didn’t struggle. He was too busy thinking he was about to die.</p><p>Virgil kneeled in front of Janus. “Hey, it’s okay, Mr. Dorman. I want to help you feel better. Just trust me.” He glanced at Patton and smiled lightly. “You can hold my hand, or Mr. Baker’s to ground yourself.’ He gave him a reassuring smile and Janus took his hand. “Squeeze as much as you need. I need you to stay focused, can you do that for me?” he asked. Janus nodded as his breathing got worse, making his situation a lot worse. “Mr. Baker, could you get him some water?” he asked. Patton nodded and quickly left the room.</p><p>Janus’ breathing was quick, shallow, and choppy. Again, soft moans of pain left his lips. His hands were warm and clammy despite the shivering of his body. His heart beating loudly, quickly, and hard. Harder and faster than ever. It hurt. It was going to burst in his chest. He was in pain and was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to-.</p><p>“Janus.” Janus was floating out of his body. He wasn’t feeling anything other than growing pain and fear. “Janus.” Virgil’s voice was steady. “Close your eyes.” He gently brushed Janus’ hair to the side. “Are you with me?” he asked softly. Janus whimpered, looking at him. Virgil nodded. “Good. Now, close your eyes and listen to me,” he said softly.</p><p>Janus closed his eyes, his mind going back to Roman. He squeezed Virgil’s hand, trying to ground himself.</p><p>“Stay focused on this moment and take a deep breath in.” As Janus did as told, he kept talking, “do you have a safe place? Somewhere- hold. Somewhere where you feel safe. Somewhere you always go to in order to feel better?” he asked. Janus nodded. “Think about that place. Transport yourself there. Breathe out. Feel the wind if it’s outdoors. Breathe in the smells. You are safe.” He tilted his head as Janus followed the instructions, slowly evening out his breathing. “You are doing great, keep breathing. Can you-” The door opened and Patton walked in with a glass of water. Virgil took it and thanked him softly before turning back to Janus. “Drink slowly,” he said, gently bringing the glass to Janus’ lips. “Touch it, the cold will help you.” He moved Janus’ hand to the glass. Janus flinched for a moment before drinking slow, small sips.</p><p>Virgil looked at him and pulled the glass away. Janus chased after it for a moment. “Hold on, Janus. Keep breathing.” He smiled lightly. “How are you feeling?” he asked softly. “Any better?”</p><p>Janus looked at him. “Yeah… I’m tired…” he said quietly. “Thank you, Lord Stein.” He was shivering. “I’m cold…” He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “I… I’m scared.” Virgil nodded lightly.</p><p>“You are safe. There’s nothing to be afraid of. But it is still a common feeling. I want you to know that if it ever happens again, you’re not going to die.” Janus blinked. Virgil smiled lightly. “I know the feeling. Each thought that crosses your mind. None of them are true,” he said. “Do you feel strong enough to walk? You should be getting some food and then rest.”</p><p>Janus shrugged. “Maybe…” he said before yawning. “Can I go wash my face first? I feel… icky,” he said.</p><p>Virgil chuckled, glancing at Patton. “Of course, Jan. Lord Stein and I will wait here.” Patton smiled. Virgil helped Janus stand. “Can you go on your own?” he asked softly. Janus smiled lightly and nodded. “Call if you need anything.” Janus nodded again, a few tears still running down his face as he walked out of the room.</p><p>Once Janus was out, Virgil turned to Patton. “Do you know what happened?” he asked. He was sure he knew, but he wanted to be sure he wasn’t assuming the worst. “From what I know, he is a sweet kid.”</p><p>Patton smiled sadly before looking at Virgil. “He is. The sweetest in the world… Apparently, he and Prince Roman were… close, and he said Roman didn’t want him in his life anymore,” he said. “I told him that maybe he could fix things by going to the wedding and this happened.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Not to be ungrateful or anything, but… why are you here, Lord Stein?” he asked.</p><p>Virgil fixed the end of his sleeves and looked up at him. “Four months ago, Roman came here, and something happened between him and Mr. Dorman. I told Roman to end it before it was too late. Mr. Dorman was already in love with him. Roman is stubborn, almost as much as his brother, I’m afraid. The king’s death delayed the visit, and I just now found out they wrote each other letters… letters filled with words of love. Roman had been leading him on until today. He seemed hurt when he returned to the car, and I was afraid Mr. Dorman’s reaction had been worse.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Patton said. “I wouldn’t have known what to do to help him.” He smiled lightly. “Lord Stein, may I ask for a favor?” he asked. Virgil gave him a small nod. “Would it be possible for Janus to attend the wedding? I don’t expect Prince Roman to change his mind or anything. I just want him to see that the hurt an angel.”</p><p>Virgil was quiet for a moment and Janus walked in. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy and his cheeks were rosier than usual, but there was no sign of tears. Virgil looked at Janus and smiled. “It will be my pleasure, Mr. Baker,” he said.</p><p>Janus rubbed his eyes. “Do I have to eat?” he asked softly. “I feel nauseous…” he trailed off. “Can’t I just… go to sleep?” he nearly mumbled.</p><p>Virgil sighed. “Why must I understand that feeling so well…” He turned to Patton for a moment. “Make sure he doesn’t sleep too much. Finish your water, Mr. Dorman. Some tea might help you sleep better. Be sure to have some later.” Janus nodded and sat on his bed.</p><p>He glanced at the wardrobe and looked away, seeing Roman’s cape poking out. Virgil and Patton noticed that and frowned. “Are you leaving so soon?” he asked, looking up at Virgil.</p><p>Virgil smiled lightly. “I’ll come back to check on you before parting. Now I have… business to attend to. Mr. Dorman. Mr. Baker.” With that, he turned on his heel and left.</p><p>Patton walked over to Janus’ bed, smiling lightly. “I’m so glad you’re feeling better, Jan…” he said softly, running a hand through Janus’ hair. “Get some sleep now, okay? I’ll wake you up in a bit and we’ll go take a walk in the gardens before dinner.” He smiled. Janus whimpered and tears threatened to fall. “Hey… no, don’t cry… it’s time for bed,” he said softly, repeating the words Janus’ mother told him when he was scared of something.</p><p>Janus frowned lightly, searching in his oldest memories for a face. “Patton…” he said quietly as he shifted and allowed the other to lay him down and tuck him in. Patton hummed in response, brushing his fingers against Janus’ hair. “I- I can’t remember what they looked like…” he trailed off.</p><p>Patton bit his lip and gave him a sad smile. “You were very young, Janus…” he said softly. He felt so bad that Janus couldn’t remember his parents, but he wasn’t really surprised.</p><p>Janus looked down, hiding slightly under the covers. “Do you remember them?” he asked softly. “You were older…”</p><p>Patton nodded. “I barely knew your dad, so I can’t help you with that, but your mom… I do remember her.” Janus looked up at him. “She was a wonderful woman, you got that from her. And she was beautiful. She was so, so beautiful. You also got that from her. And… hmm… what else…”</p><p>“Hey boys,” Patton’s mother said as she walked into the room. She frowned slightly as she saw Janus. “Are you feeling sick, dear?” she asked softly, walking over to them.</p><p>Patton looked at her and Janus shrugged under the covers. Patton ran a hand through Janus’ hair again before saying, “you could call it that,” he spoke quietly. “He’s lovesick… and I don’t know how to help…” He sighed. Janus shifted, turning to look at them. “I was telling him what his mother was like… I’m sure you can help more than me.”</p><p>Patton’s mother smiled and pulled a chair closer to the bed, sitting down. “Your mother was a wonderful woman, Janus. She adored you. You and your sister were her everything. She was one of the most beautiful women I’ve met. She was so strong and kind, and she wanted to give you the best life she could.” Janus smiled lightly. “She would always put you in bed when you fell asleep on the couch. She would tuck you in and kiss your forehead.” Janus looked up at her and his eyes began closing. “Sometimes, she would sing you to sleep if you had a nightmare or were afraid of having one,” she said softly, brushing his bangs out of his face.</p><p>Janus hummed softly, his eyes falling shut as he quickly fell asleep, letting exhaustion take over.</p><p>-</p><p>Virgil stormed into the room. Roman was sitting on a couch with an arm wrapped around Lady Mary. They both turned, looking at the Royal Advisor wide-eyed. “Your Highness, we need to talk,” he said, trying to hide his anger. “Now.”</p><p>Roman sighed and kissed the back of the girl’s hand. He got up and followed Virgil out of the room, closing the door behind them. “What is it?” he asked.</p><p>Virgil glared at him. “I’m telling you this as a friend.” He sighed. “You are the most irresponsible piece of shit I’ve ever met.” Roman opened his mouth, but Virgil kept talking, “do you have any idea what you’ve done to that kid? I told you to end it!” he hissed.</p><p>Roman frowned. Was Janus okay? “You told me to end it and I did, what are you scolding me for?” he asked.</p><p>“I told you to end it four months ago! He’s completely heartbroken.” Roman tensed up. “If you’d ended it when I told you to instead of sending each other love letters, he wouldn’t be in that situation. He couldn’t breathe when I arrived! I had to help him through it.”</p><p>Roman looked at him. “He couldn’t breathe? You don’t mean…” he started.</p><p>“I do. Just like what happens to me. I’m almost completely sure it was the first time it happened to him. He had no idea how to stop it or if it would stop. You should’ve ended it when I told you to.” Roman sighed and looked down. “And, for your sake, you better not go to that house again.”</p><p>Virgil bit his lip and bowed lightly. “Go back to your fiancée, Your Highness. We’ll part tomorrow after dawn,” he said as walked away.</p><p>-</p><p>“Janus,” a voice said softly. A hand gently brushed against his cheek, slowly bringing him to the real world. He hummed quietly and the voice came back, “Janus, dear… it’s time for dinner,” it said softly.</p><p>Janus whined and rubbed his face with his fist as a toddler would. He slowly opened his eyes, looking up sleepily. He hid his face against the covers. “M’not hungry…” he mumbled, his voice muffled by the covers.</p><p>Mrs. Baker chuckled fondly. “Dear, you have been sleeping since before lunch. You need to eat something,” she said. “You can come back to sleep after dinner.” She smiled, running a hand through Janus’ hair.</p><p>“Won’t sleep…” he mumbled, closing his eyes again. “I wanna sleep…,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to be awake…”</p><p>“Do you want me to get Patton?” she asked softly, running a hand through Janus’ hair again, knowing it soothed him. Janus nodded and hummed in response and Mrs. Baker smiled. She kissed his forehead and walked out.</p><p>Janus wiggled further under the blankets. He took a shaky breath and tears started running down his face. He wanted to hate Roman. But how could he? How could he hate someone he adored so dearly? Someone he adored even in his dreams. He needed to hate him to feel again.</p><p>“Janus?” Patton’s voice came from the door. Janus whimpered and poked his eyes out, tears in them. Patton frowned. “Oh, Jan…” he said quietly. “You need to get up and eat something,” he said softly, kneeling by the bed. “My mom is making some valerian and lavender tea for you,” he said, wiping away Janus’ tears.</p><p>Janus shook his head. “Still nauseous…” he muttered. “I don’t wanna be awake…” Patton frowned. “I don’t want to… to think…”</p><p>Patton sighed. “Janus, you are getting up right now and you are going to eat. You’re going to get over him because that asshole doesn’t deserve your pain and tears. He deserves his own seeing you be happy and laugh.” Janus sniffled and curled up. “Janus, please. We’re worried about you. You can’t hide from reality in your dreams.”</p><p>Janus looked up at him. “Watch me,” he said, throwing the blanket to cover himself completely. “I’m not hungry,” he said lowly.</p><p>“I don’t care, you’re getting up and you’re going to have dinner.” He gripped the covers and pulled them off the bed. Janus was curled up in a ball, his eyes shut tightly and his whole body trembling. “Janus-”</p><p>“I said, no! And you can’t make me. You know why? Because you’re not either of my parents! Because I couldn’t do anything but watch as they were murdered. And someone wonderful and perfect showed up in my life and I am not good enough for him…” His loud and angry tone faded into a broken one as he spoke.</p><p>Patton frowned and sat on the bed. “Of course you are good enough for him, Janus. He just… wants to be a good king… I suppose.” He gently ran a hand through Janus’ hair. “Try not to think too much about what happened, let’s go downstairs. You can have tea and eat some cookies or pastries. Is that better than having a full dinner?” he asked softly. “I promise, I will not pressure you.”</p><p>Janus looked up at him and slowly sat up, still hugging his knees. He looked down and sniffled. “Just the tea…?” he asked quietly, just like a child would. Patton smiled lightly, standing up and holding his hand out for his broken best friend.</p><p>“Just the tea. Then you can get changed and go to sleep,” he said softly, giving him a small smile. “But you have to promise me you’ll eat tomorrow.” Janus nodded and took Patton’s hand, allowing the other to pull him up and walk him down the stairs.</p><p>-</p><p>Virgil looked up as the door to his room opened, certain it would be Remus since everyone else knew how to knock on the door. “My heart has been broken, for I’ve been betrayed, by the love of my life,” he said dramatically, walking into the room and flopping on the bed.</p><p>The advisor rolled his eyes. “Oh, what a disgrace, who could ever hurt thee, my Duke?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow and rolling his eyes. He looked at him and laughed. “You could’ve, at least, closed the door, Remus,” he said.</p><p>“You said Roman is the most irresponsible person you know. I take full offense on that,” he said, looking at him.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, Remus. Of course, he isn't. No one will ever be more irresponsible than you. I was angry because he hurt that kid,” he said, pulling him closer and kissing him. Remus smirked into the kiss and gripped Virgil’s hair and bit his lip. Virgil winced and sat on Remus’ lap, deepening the kiss.</p><p>“Virgil!” Roman called from the doorway.</p><p>Virgil groaned and pulled back. “This is why you should’ve closed the door…” he muttered before turning to Roman. “Yes, Your Highness?” he asked, not getting off of Remus’ lap.</p><p>“When you left Janus… was he alright?” he asked, frowning lightly. “I hate knowing that he was unwell because of me…” he said, looking down.</p><p>“No, he wasn’t /alright/. I’ve never been alright right after that. He was… exhausted and heartbroken. I told him to rest and have some tea later to help him,” he said. “But he’s not alright. I will go see him tomorrow before parting.”</p><p>Roman nodded slowly. “Can you tell him that all those letters were real? That all the feelings in those letters were real?” he asked.</p><p>Virgil bit his lip and looked down, shaking his head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. He needs to forget you, and in order to do that, he needs to learn to hate you first,” he said softly. He looked up at him and Roman looked down. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. I will tell you about him if you’d like, but he can’t hear anything about you.”</p><p>Roman nodded and walked out, not saying another word.</p><p>-</p><p>A knock on the front door made Patton jump to his feet. He put the cup of tea down on the table and walked to the door. He opened it and smiled. “Good morning, Lord Stein. Come in,” he said, stepping aside.</p><p>Virgil smiled lightly and walked inside the house. He looked at Patton with an apologetic look. “I’m here earlier than I said, I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he said.</p><p>Patton shook his head. “Not at all. Janus is asleep and my parents left for the day.” He looked up at the stairs and frowned. “He refuses to eat. He hasn't had anything solid since yesterday morning. He only had some valerian and lavender tea last night.” He turned to Virgil. “He’s crying most of his awake time and tries to hide from the real world.”</p><p>Virgil nodded. “Alright. Make him something he can easily stomach, I’ll talk to him,” he said. Patton nodded and Virgil walked up the stairs. He slowly opened the door to the bedroom and frowned, seeing Janus curled up in bed with tear stains on his face. He was asleep, but he looked like he wasn’t having a very pleasant dream. “Janus...?” he asked softly, walking closer. He knew from experience that first-name basis was what worked best with Janus.</p><p>The boy whined, still mostly asleep. Virgil couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips. Janus, despite what anyone said, was still a kid. A boy meant to run around in the garden and the streets and have fun. A boy meant to fall in love all over again with someone new. Anything but… that.</p><p>“Janus… wake up,” he said softly, kneeling near the bed. “It’s Virgil Stein, you need to get up,” he said, getting another whine from Janus. He sighed. “Janus, I’ll get Patton, and I’m sure he won’t be as caring,” he said. Another whine came from Janus and Virgil raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Mm… fine…” he mumbled, slowly opening his eyes. He rubbed them sleepily. He yawned and blinked, focusing his sight. “Lord Stein…?” he asked quietly. “What… what time is it?” he asked, slowly sitting up. “I didn’t sleep in, did I?” he asked softly, glancing at the balcony, which was still mostly dark.</p><p>“Virgil, please. I’ve been calling you Janus, it wouldn’t be fair.” He smiled. Janus nodded, looking at him. “And, no. You didn’t sleep in. It’s four in the morning. The… ride back home is at dawn, so I had to come earlier than expected.” He smiled. “Why don’t you follow me downstairs?” he asked.</p><p>Janus frowned lightly. “I don’t wanna get up… and I feel like you and Patton are plotting something against me.” Virgil chuckled and held a hand out as he stood up.</p><p>“We’re only trying to help you. Let’s make a deal.” Janus crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Wow, intimidating… you eat three cookies, go to the garden for a bit and then you can come back to your ball of bedsheets.”</p><p>Janus shook his head. “Tea and bed,” he retorted.</p><p>Virgil frowned. “Tea /and/ cookies,” he said. Janus shook his head. “The cookies are non-negotiable, Janus. You have to eat.” Janus frowned. “Let’s go,” he said. He smiled lightly and Janus huffed, taking his hand and getting up.</p><p>Janus followed Virgil down the stairs, not saying a word. He yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily. “I…” he started, stopping and getting Virgil’s attention. “Was I not good enough for Roman…?” he asked quietly, almost coming off as a whimper.</p><p>Virgil turned, frowning lightly. “What? Janus, you are the sweetest guy in the world for what I’ve been told. You are more than good enough for him. But he is going to be the king. He needs to have a wife and children, even if he doesn’t want to marry anyone. He has to.”</p><p>Janus bit his lip and nodded. “Then, why did he say that he doesn’t want me in his life?” He sniffled, looking at him.</p><p>Virgil looked down for a moment. Great… did he have to be positive now? “Maybe you misunderstood… or maybe he was overdramatic about it. He tends to be like that.” He gave Janus a small smile. “Let’s go, constantly wondering about it is the last thing you need to feel better.” Janus bit his lip and nodded. following Virgil down the stairs.</p><p>Patton looked up from the kitchen counter and smiled. “You’re up,” he said cheerfully. “I made you some green tea.” He smiled before turning to Virgil. “Would you like some, Lord Stein?” he asked, tilting his head a bit.</p><p>“But green tea doesn’t let me sleep~” Janus whined, getting a chuckle from both older guys.</p><p>“Well, that is what we’re aiming for, Janus,” Virgil chuckled. He looked at Patton and shook his head lightly. “No, thank you. It’s a long way back home and I haven’t slept too well.” Patton nodded and walked out of the kitchen, placing Janus’ tea on the table.</p><p>Janus sat at the table and yawned. Patton added some hot water to his tea and sat in front of Janus. Janus grabbed his cup and looked up at Virgil. “Sit with us, please,” he said with a gentle smile. “Surely you have some time to spare before leaving.”</p><p>Virgil smiled lightly and sat down beside Janus. “Hey, Janus, why don’t you tell me something about yourself?” he asked. “I already know some things about Mr. Baker because of his family. But all I know about you is based on assumptions alone.” Janus looked at him, taking a sip of his tea. He nodded slightly and smiled. “How old are you?”</p><p>Janus smiled lightly. “I’m 18,” he said. He grabbed one of the cookies Patton’s mother had baked the day before and bit into it. “Oh, God! It’s filled with white chocolate?!” he said excitedly. Virgil and Patton glanced at each other and smiled. “Do you want one?” he asked. “These are my entire childhood…”</p><p>Virgil smiled. “Why not?” He grabbed a cookie and tried it. “Oh, wow… these are good,” he said. “What was your childhood like?” he asked.</p><p>Janus looked down and bit his lip. “Well, I was always playing around with Patton. My parents died when I was very young and my mother was a very close friend of Patton’s, so they took me in once they heard about it,” he explained. “I remember I was scared of going to bed because I would always remember my parents’ murder, so they would tuck me in on the couch as Patton’s father read and his mother made some winter clothes for me, or a blanket. Patton would bring me warm milk and I was out like a light.” He smiled lightly. “Then I went to the best school in the State.”</p><p>Virgil smiled. It sucked that he lost his parents, but he got an amazing family who cared dearly about him. “So you were 7 when the US entered the Great War?” he asked softly. Janus nodded. “This is unrelated, but the war doesn’t seem like a good topic to lighten up your mood. What is your color? The one color you would wear all the time if you could.”</p><p>Janus thought for a moment and took another cookie. “Hm… probably yellow? I also really like black and white, but everyone wears those.” Virgil smiled and glanced at Patton for a moment. “Why?” Janus tilted his head slightly to the side.</p><p>Virgil shrugged. “No reason, pure curiosity,” he said, looking at him for a moment. “Well, I should get going now, I don’t want to keep Duke Kingsley waiting, he’s… something.” He chuckled lightly. “It was a pleasure to see you both again.” He shot a look at Patton and Janus went to stand to bow. “No need to worry about that, Janus.” He smiled. “Enjoy your tea and cookies. And I hope we can meet again soon.”</p><p>Patton stood up and smiled. “I’ll walk you to the gates,” he said, walking to him. He glanced at Janus and smiled lightly. “Wait here, I’ll be right back and we can go to the garden.” He smiled, to which Janus nodded.</p><p>Virgil followed Patton outside and stopped. “Mr. Baker, do you have Mr. Dorman’s measurements?” he asked. “The wedding is in one week and he deserves to wear something he feels comfortable in, at least. I’m sure I can make the Royal Dressmaker put something together for him,” he said.</p><p>Patton smiled. “I’m sure my mother has them… she made him a jacket for the winter. Wait here, I’ll get them for you,” he said, going back inside. Janus turned, slightly confused. “Lord Stein forgot something in the corridor,” he said before going up the stairs and entering his parents’ room. He looked around for his mother’s sewing box. She always kept a small piece of paper with their measurements in there. He saw it on a table and smiled. He took the paper with Janus’ and went back to Virgil.</p><p>Virgil took the paper and smiled. “Thank you,” he said. “I’ll be here at dawn on the wedding day. Let him know he’s going or I’m afraid it’ll be harder for him to accept it if it’s sudden.” Patton nodded and Virgil smiled. “Let me know if he gets worse. Mail is quite quick when I’m on one end.”</p><p>“I will. Thank you for the help with him today.” Patton smiled. “Have a safe ride, Lord Stein.” Virgil bowed his head lightly and left.</p><p>-</p><p>Janus frowned. The day was here… the dreaded day. The day he didn’t want to go through. The day he needed to stay home the most. Why did he have to attend? Out of all people, why him? He was sure he was the only living creature who didn’t want to attend the Royal Wedding.</p><p>He glanced at Patton and weakly got up. He’d been refusing to eat all week, literally living off of valerian tea before bed… or just when he felt like it. He quietly left the room and walked to the kitchen. He could hear Patton’s parents getting ready in their room. They had to leave sooner since they wanted great seats or whatever.</p><p>He made himself a cup of valerian tea, hoping to be sleepy and be allowed to skip. Roman didn’t want him in his life, so why were Patton and Virgil insisting so much?</p><p>Virgil would be there in an hour… hopefully, the tea would kick in quickly enough… maybe if he had two, he’d sleep longer and avoid the whole event altogether. He started drinking the tea and made another one. Logically speaking, the more valerian he took, the more sleep he’d get. It made sense to him. Once he finished his first cup, he grabbed the other and walked back to the bedroom. Getting under the covers, he started to slowly sip on his tea, waiting for it to kick in and fall asleep.</p><p>That time, however, didn’t come. He put the cup down and shifted as he started feeling sick. He laid on his back and closed his eyes. Surely it would work. He was just nervous, that was all.</p><p>But the feeling of sickness worsened. He was hot. He shut his eyes tightly and pushed the covers away. There was a strange buzzing in his ears and he felt his body grow heavier.</p><p>“Janus, time to get up,” a really distant and distorted voice said.</p><p>Janus slowly opened his eyes. His sight was blurry. “Patton…?” he mumbled. He felt a hand on his forehead and his bangs sticking onto his skin.</p><p>“Hey, yes, it’s me… are you alright?” he asked softly. “You don’t look too good…” he pointed out. Janus whimpered and shook his head slowly. “What’s wrong?” Patton feared the worst. Janus hadn’t eaten anything since those cookies with Virgil and he’d been losing weight all week. What if he was dying?!</p><p>“M’dizzy… very dizzy, Patton…” he whimpered. Patton bit his lip, trying to figure out what to do.</p><p>Patton glanced at the bedside table and frowned. “Janus… how much tea did you have?” he asked. He was pretty sure that drinking too much tea was bad. Janus shrugged and Patton sighed. A knock on the door came and Patton looked up. “Come in,” he said.</p><p>The door opened and Virgil walked in. He saw Janus and frowned, looking at Patton, as if looking for an explanation.</p><p>“He hasn’t eaten since you left, and I think he may have taken too much valerian tea…” Patton explained. “He says he’s dizzy,” he said.</p><p>“Do you feel sick? As in… vomiting kind of sick?” he asked, stepping closer. Janus nodded. “Alright, take my hand. Where’s the bathroom?” he asked. Janus slowly took Virgil’s hand as Patton gave him the directions. “Janus, I want you to get up slowly. I’m going to take you to the bathroom and you’re going to have to get rid of the overdose of valerian.”</p><p>Janus whimpered once again and sat up slowly. His head was pounding. He couldn’t think. And he was sure that if he made the slightest effort, it would just… burst. He shook his head. “Head hurts…” he said quietly.</p><p>Virgil turned to Patton. “Are your parents home?” he asked. Patton nodded. “Alright, Janus’ suit is downstairs… from what I can see, it will need some fixing. Can your mother fix it?” he asked.</p><p>Patton nodded. “I’m sure she can,” he said.</p><p>“Alright, I’ll take care of him. Go ask her, we’ll need new measurements.” Patton nodded and left the room. Virgil turned to Janus, who looked more sick by the minute. “Janus, let’s go.” He carefully pulled him to his feet. “I’ve got you, don’t worry,” he said softly. He gently walked him to the bathroom.</p><p>They walked slowly, too slowly for Janus’ liking. But, in all honesty, he couldn’t walk any faster or he’d collapse. They soon reached the bathroom and Janus, despite the sickness, felt a wave of relief hit him. He whimpered and Virgil let go of him.</p><p>“Do you want me to leave?” Virgil asked softly as Janus sat on the edge of the bath, facing the toilet. As Janus started throwing up, Virgil noticed his light swaying. He stepped closer and put a hand on Janus’ shoulder. “It’s okay, Janus. You’re going to get better.” He gave him a small smile.</p><p>Janus looked at him, tears prickling in his eyes. “I’m sorry…” he said hoarsely. “I- I’m scared… I thought… that maybe I’d be able to sleep through it.” He looked down, still feeling sick.</p><p>Virgil nodded. “I know, Janus… but having too much valerian can cause this. When you’re done, we’ll take your measurements to fix your suit and I’ll help you take a bath. Does that sound good?” Janus nodded and turned to the toilet again. “Get on the floor, you will be much more stable.” He helped Janus get on the floor and started the bath.</p><p>Janus whimpered and started throwing up again. Virgil frowned, turning to glance at him. Janus leaned back and closed his eyes. “I can’t go…” he said quietly. “He doesn’t want me there…” he trailed off.</p><p>Virgil bit his lip and sighed, sitting beside him. He looked at him and sighed. “I think he does,” he said. Janus frowned lightly. “He asked me to tell you that everything in the letters was true.” Janus looked at him.</p><p>“What…?” he asked shakily. Virgil smiled lightly. “When did he say that?” he asked softly.</p><p>Virgil ran a hand through Janus’ hair. “When he told you all those things. That same night. He came to my room and told me. He also asked me to tell you that he loves you.” Janus looked at him in disbelief. “I didn’t tell you sooner because, after seeing you like that, I thought it would make things worse.”</p><p>Janus shifted a bit and laid his head on Virgil’s shoulder. “Does he really love me?” he asked softly. Virgil nodded. “Then why… why did he say all those things? Why after all those letters?”</p><p>Virgil bit his lip. “I advised him to end the relationship before it started, but then I found out about the letters and it was too late. I did it to try to take as much pain away from you as possible.” Janus looked at him with a frown. And Virgil was sure he was about to be pushed away. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.</p><p>Janus bit his lip, looking at him. “Why are you sorry?” he asked. “You were looking out for me. It’s not your fault he did it at the wrong time,” he said softly. “That proves you have cared about me since back then.”</p><p>Virgil shrugged. “I suppose so…” he trailed off. There was a knock on the door and he smiled. “Come in,” he said before turning back to Janus. “I’ll leave you two alone. Call me when you’re ready for the bath, alright, Janus?” he said softly, standing up.</p><p>“Yeah… thank you, Virgil,” Janus said softly as Patton’s mother walked inside the bathroom. He looked at Virgil, who smiled lightly and walked out.</p><p>A few minutes later, Virgil was called back in. He went inside and saw Janus sitting in the bathtub, already bathing. He smiled and glanced at Mrs. Baker. “I will take it from here, we’re already taking precious time, Mrs. Baker,” he said.</p><p>The woman smiled. “Thank you, Lord Stein,” she said. “I will leave Janus’ clothes on his bed.” She ran a hand through Janus’ hair and smiled. “Smile that smile of yours, kiddo,” she said before walking out.</p><p>Virgil walked over and smiled at Janus. “Do you need any help?” he asked softly. “I can wash your hair to get things done faster, if you’d like,” he offered, looking at him. Janus looked up at him and nodded, almost sleepily. “Awe, is the remaining valerian tea starting to work?” He moved closer and placed the bathroom stool behind Janus, sitting on it and grabbing a jar from one of the shelves. He filled it up with some warm water and gently poured it over Janus’ curls.</p><p>“I’m tired…” he said softly, as he finished bathing. “I’m sorry for causing so much trouble…” He sighed, tilting his head back. “Are you sure this is okay?” he asked, looking at him.</p><p>Virgil smiled. “Of course! I offered to do it, didn’t I?” he asked. “And you don’t need to worry, Janus, it isn’t something I can’t handle.” He chuckled. “My job is to advise the idiot king and the worst human you can imagine. Roman once tried what you did. It had the same consequences. That’s how I knew what to do,” he said.</p><p>“Really? What did he try to avoid?” Janus asked as Virgil washed his hair gently with some soap.</p><p>“Well, in his case it wasn’t a wedding. He had a quite mean teacher back in the day, and he’d been studying really hard for a test. The night before, his mind went completely blank. So, he tried to sleep through it… it didn’t exactly work the way he’d planned.” Janus chuckled and yawned, “Rest, I’ll wake you up when you need to get dressed,” he said.</p><p>Janus nodded and yawned again, closing his eyes and quickly falling asleep as Virgil continued to wash his hair carefully, not wanting to wake him up.</p><p>He filled the jar with water again and managed to rinse Janus’ curls. He got a bit more water to make sure the soap was all gone from his hair and smiled lightly. Janus seemed so peaceful right now. He wondered if he was feeling any better now that he knew Roman loved him.</p><p>He bit his lip and looked around for a towel. He didn’t want to wake Janus up until it was necessary. He got up and found a towel under the sink. He grabbed it and started gently rubbing it against Janus’ hair, trying to dry it as much as possible.</p><p>A few minutes later, when Janus’ hair wasn’t dripping anymore, he set the towel aside and got up, walking out and into the bedroom. He froze for a moment as he saw Janus’ clothes on the bed, already fixed. Well, that was quick. He saw Patton, already dressed, and walked over to him. “He fell asleep.” He chuckled. “Can you help him get dressed?” he asked. Paton smiled and nodded.</p><p>“Of course!” he said excitedly. He took the clothes and walked to the bathroom, smiling lightly at the sight before closing the door.</p><p>Virgil smirked. Janus’ clothes were primarily black, which generally meant the person disagreed with the marriage. And that couldn’t be more accurate. And the bright yellow accents were meant to take people’s attention without them realizing. It was perfect for Janus, he was sure of it.</p><p>He glanced at the wardrobe and saw Roman’s cape hanging inside. Maybe he could plan something. Sure, Roman and Janus’ relationship was… wrong, but he could see how in love they were, and he felt guilty for telling Roman to end the relationship. He wanted to fix things.</p><p>Fuck the rules. Fuck tradition. Fuck everything. He just wanted them to be happy.</p><p>The door to the bathroom opened and Patton walked out, followed by Janus. The clothes fit him perfectly. It was a black tuxedo with yellow edges. He was fixing the yellow gloves. But there was something was missing.</p><p>“You look great, Janus.” He smiled. “Do you, by any chance, have a black hat?” he asked. That’s what was missing. A hat.</p><p>Janus thought for a moment before nodding. “I do! I’ve never worn it, though,” he said half excitedly. He opened the wardrobe and pulled out a black bowler hat. “Is this good?” he asked.</p><p>Virgil smiled at Janus’ excitement. “That one’s perfect,” he said, taking it from Janus’ hand and putting it on his head. He stepped back and looked at him for a moment. “Ready?” He smiled.</p><p>Janus glanced at Patton and nodded. He went to take Roman’s cape. Virgil grabbed his wrist gently and Janus looked at him confused. “I- won’t he need it?” he asked, frowning lightly.</p><p>Virgil smirked. “Let him come get it himself,” he said. “He hasn’t needed it in months,” he pointed out. Janus smiled lightly. “Let’s go. The ride is long,” he said. He looked at them and Patton led the way outside.</p><p>Janus followed Patton nervously, walking beside Virgil to the car. He was scared of what would or could happen… what if he wasn’t accepted by… Roman’s world? That world he despised so much. What if Roman didn’t want him there? What if Roman didn’t want to see him? What if he really didn’t want him in his life? What if-</p><p>“Janus?” Virgil called softly. Janus blinked and looked at him. “It’s going to be alright, okay? Don’t worry. It’s a four hour ride, I don’t want you worrying the whole way there.” Janus nodded slowly as they reached the car.</p><p>The three got in the car and Janus laid his head on Patton’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “I’m nervous…” he said quietly.</p><p>Patton bit his lip and ran a hand through Janus’ hair. “It’ll be alright, Jan, trust us,” he said softly as Janus shifted slightly.</p><p>“Why don’t you sleep for a bit?” Virgil asked softly. “I think we all should, honestly…” he said before stiffling a yawn.</p><p>Patton smiled. “You’re right, let’s sleep for a bit,” he said, playing with Janus’ hair as the other slowly fell asleep. “You said 4 hours, right?” he asked. Virgil nodded and they both eventually fell asleep.</p><p>-</p><p>“Janus, Virgil, we’re here,” Patton said softly, looking down at Janus’ sleeping form on his lap.</p><p>A whine left Janus’ lips. “Mm… no, wanna sleep…” he mumbled, not opening his eyes.</p><p>Patton chuckled and glanced at Virgil, who was starting to wake up. “Oh, so you don’t want to see Roman?” he asked with a smirk. Janus’ eyes shot open and Virgil and Patton scoffed. “Alright. Any instructions, Virgil?” he asked.</p><p>Virgil nodded as Janus fixed his hair and put on his hat. “Yes. While we are in there, I am Lord Stein. Roman is His Royal Highness. You don’t know Remus, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Everyone there is either Lord or Lady. Other than that, you should be fine.” He smiled.</p><p>Janus bit his lip and let out a shaky breath. “Are you sure about this… Lord Stein?” he asked softly.</p><p>Virgil gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes, of course. I know he wants to see you, Janus, just as much as you want to see him,” he said, opening the door. “Let’s go in. The ceremony is about to begin.” Janus looked down. “Hey, cheer up, after the ceremony, he’s all yours.” He smiled as they walked in.</p><p>And there he was, talking to the priest. He looked so good. He was so handsome. He looked amazing in his overly dramatic wedding clothes. He looked wonderful. Janus was frozen in place, staring at him with a lovestruck look that would be so obvious to anyone who looked. But no one did… no one but him.</p><p>Roman turned, freezing as he saw Janus there, looking absolutely stunning. Black and yellow looked amazing on him. He bit his lip. He couldn’t wait to kiss him after the wedding. He couldn’t wait to be with him again. To tell him everything he had been keeping in all week. To apologize. To let him know how in love with him he was. Why couldn’t he just… marry Janus? That’s what he truly wanted.</p><p>He remembered how perfectly their lips fit together… how their kiss felt. He remembered the sparks in his chest and butterflies in his stomach. He remembered Janus desperately asking him not to go get engaged. He remembered each and every one of their letters to each other. And… he remembered the tears in Janus’ eyes as he yelled at him to leave.</p><p>He remembered the pain in his chest as he left that house for the last time. The heartbreak when Virgil told him about Janus’ state. The regret when he went past the house to get back home. And now it was all coming back in the form of the most beautiful young man the universe had ever seen.</p><p>As Janus looked at Roman, he remembered everything. He remembered that January night. That January 31st that changed him. That stranger that climbed to the balcony and somehow made him fall in love with a few words and sweet actions. Oh, how he wished he was the one to walk down the aisle.</p><p>“Roman,” Remus said from beside him. Roman snapped out of his thoughts. He hummed, still not tearing his gaze from the new guests, afraid that it wasn’t real. “What’s wrong?” he asked.</p><p>“Do you see them?” Roman responded. He needed to be sure they were there and he wasn’t going insane.</p><p>Remus frowned and blinked. “What? Who?” he asked. “I’m supposed to be the crazy one here, brother,” he said.</p><p>Roman shot a glare at Remus before turning back to the guests. “There, with Virgil. Janus is there,” he said, looking at Janus. “I- that’s him, right? I’m not going insane, am I?” he asked.</p><p>Remus blinked. “You know I have never seen him before, right?” He sighed before smirking. “But if that /is/ him, I must admit you have good taste, he’s cute.” He grinned. “But, hey, I wouldn’t hurt Virgil. Not even to hurt you.” He rolled his eyes as Roman elbowed his stomach. “Why is he here, anyway? Did you invite him?” he asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.</p><p>Roman shook his head as Virgil led him and Patton to some seats. “No… I think Virgil did,” he said softly.</p><p>“Your Majesty,” the priest said. “Everyone is ready.” Roman nodded and Remus bowed and gave him a reassuring smile before going to his spot, where Virgil was also sitting now.</p><p>-</p><p>The wedding ceremony was boring, to say the least. Janus had to try not to be hurt, let it affect him, or even object to the marriage.</p><p>The wedding reception, however, was something else.</p><p>Despite being a Royal Wedding, the reception was… mediocre, if you asked Janus, who judged everyone silently like an expert with his nonexistent wedding knowledge. He did it, mostly, to avoid looking at the center of the room, where Roman waltzed with his new wife. He couldn’t help the jealousy growing at the pit of his stomach.</p><p>She was really beautiful… he couldn’t help but wonder… what if he loved her? What if he wasn’t good enough?</p><p>He didn’t notice his overthinking until he clenched his jaw.</p><p>“Janus? Are you alright?” Patton asked softly from beside him, noticing how tense he was. “Is something wrong?”</p><p>Janus wanted to snap at him. Of course, there was something wrong! Roman was dancing with someone that wasn’t him! He bit his tongue and put on a smile. “I- yeah, I’m alright… I just need some fresh air,” he said before glancing at Virgil, who was leaning against a wall almost carelessly.</p><p>“Of course. There’s a balcony up the stairs, I can lead the way if you’d like,” he offered, giving him a small smile.</p><p>Janus glanced at Roman, making eye contact for a split second, before turning back to Virgil. “No, thank you. I’m sure I’ll be just fine on my own.” He smiled. He bowed and left up the stairs to go to the balcony.</p><p>As he reached it, he felt the cool breeze hit him gently. He loved the summer. He loved summer nights like that, where it was slightly cold. It almost reminded him of when he was a kid and went out with Patton’s parents to get ice cream. He missed those days, when his biggest worry was deciding between vanilla and strawberry flavored ice cream.</p><p>When a balcony didn’t make him think of Roman Kingsley. When he didn’t really know what love was. When he wasn’t in love with someone he couldn’t have. When he read about forbidden romances and relationships, he never expected to be stuck in that situation. Not at 18, anyway.</p><p>He hated Roman for-. His eyes widened at his thoughts. He hated Roman? No! No, he didn’t! It didn’t matter how much he tried, he was in love with Roman, he couldn’t hate him. He couldn’t bring himself to.</p><p>He was in love with Roman Kingsley.</p><p>“Pretty view, huh?” Janus jumped and turned, freezing as he saw /him/. Even more beautiful than he remembered him… it’d been a week!</p><p>Janus looked at him, almost in disbelief despite partially knowing he would show up. “What are you doing here?” he asked slightly shakily.</p><p>The King smiled softly. “I could have you hanged for being up here,” he said. Janus froze. Was he playing with him? “Would a bow be too much to ask?”</p><p>Janus bit his lip, his mind wandering back to the time when they first met. A blush lightly coating the boy’s cheeks. “Until you give me a reason, yes.” He felt the hurt growing in his chest again. He wanted hate him for hurting him, but he couldn’t.</p><p>“I hurt you, and I’m sorry,” he said, stepping closer. Janus didn’t flinch, he just looked at him as coldly as he could. “I shouldn’t have led you on, but I was too scared to break it off through a letter and, when I decided to so I didn’t hurt you as much, I found myself falling in love with you.”</p><p>“When?” Janus suddenly asked. Roman frowned and blinked. “When was that? You were told to break it off when you came into my room and kissed me. When did you start falling in love with me?”</p><p>Roman looked down for a moment. “After the first letter exchange,” he said quietly, barely above a whisper. “After your first letter… you were so excited to see me again and I realized how excited I was to see you, too,” he said. “And I remembered how adorable you are, especially when you are excited, and how you were so ready to kill me to protect yourself-.”</p><p>“Be glad I left my knife at home,” Janus hissed. “You led me on for nearly four months and you expect me to just forgive you because you were scared? I’ve dealt with fear my whole life and nothing has ever affected me so much. What was it you said?” He tilted his head, glaring at him. “Oh, right. I didn’t fit in that role. And you thought I would consider forgiving you?!”</p><p>“You came. You got in a car for four hours, stood during the entire wedding ceremony and have been staring at me during the whole reception so far. Tell me you didn’t want to come. If you aren’t here to forgive me, why did you come all the way here?” he asked, stepping closer.</p><p>Janus looked down. “Because I thought seeing you with her would make me hate you for what you did. Because this is supposedly that future I don’t fit into. Because I wanted to see what you’d selfishly decided to take from me.” He bit his lip and looked back up at him, noticing he was closer than before.</p><p>Roman frowned as Janus spoke. “Janus, I did it to protect you. Us being together is impossible, as much as Roman Kingsley wants it… I- I can’t allow it.”</p><p>Janus scoffed. “You can shove that protection up your ass, oh my king.” He growled. “If there’s someone who should allow it, that’s you. I- you’re the only one who can change the world for us. For all of us! Why is it so hard?! God, I’m not asking you to leave this and marry me. That’s not what I want… I’m asking you to look around you, Roman! So many people are like me! So many people fall in love with the wrong person. Give them a chance to love. If you have ever so much as cared about me, please, give /me/ a chance.”</p><p>Roman could see the tears in Janus’ eyes, how could he not? Janus was begging him to change the world and make it a place where they could be together. But… “I can’t… I can’t change the world for you, Janus… it isn’t mine to change.”</p><p>Janus bit his lip, a few tears running down his face. He nodded slowly, not looking away as he spoke in a broken voice, “Then I’m not yours to hold.”</p><p>Roman frowned, looking at him as Janus pushed past him. He wasn’t going to lose him again. He couldn’t bear to lose him again. Before processing his thoughts, he turned to Janus and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back.</p><p>“Roman, what-?” He was cut by lips crashing against his own. He tensed up and slowly melted into it. As soon as he did so, Roman pulled back. “What was that for?” he asked, blushing darkly.</p><p>Roman moved his hand, letting go of Janus’ wrist and cupping his cheek. “I can’t change the whole world… but I can change a few things from it for you. I can’t change the way things are… but I can make sure they change in the future, so future generations can love and be happy. I can make sure /you/ can love and be happy for as long as I live.” A small smile tugged at Janus’ lips as he looked at Roman with so much hope filling his eyes. “I love you, Janus. And I wish I could let the world know right now. I’m in love with you, Janus Dorman, and, if we can’t dance down there, we may as well do it here.”</p><p>Janus blushed and looked down. “uh… I don’t… I can’t dance…” he said quietly, keeping his gaze on the ground.</p><p>Roman smiled lightly and gently lifted Janus’ chin. “Well, who can be a better teacher than me?” He asked with a smirk. Janus looked at him with a mix of confusion and shock in his eyes. “Trust me,” he said softly. He held a hand out and Janus took it shakily. Roman gave him a reassuring smile. “First, you bow to your waltz partner, like so…” He gave Janus a small bow and Janus rolled his eyes before returning the bow. “Take a breath and step closer. Put your left hand on my shoulder, over my arm,” he spoke softly, getting in the right position as Janus followed the instructions. “Now, keep your eyes on mine, alright?”</p><p>Janus bit his lip. His heart was pounding with anticipation. He was about to waltz with Roman! How did he end up like that? He was sure that only a few minutes ago, they hated each other. Were his words empty? His mind was foggy as he tried to think.</p><p>But then, his eyes met Roman’s, and all those questions and worries vanished. Roman was there to catch him if he fell. The king smiled and spoke again. “A waltz is very simple, all you need to remember is that it’s three steps. Right foot back…” He smiled as Janus followed him. “Left foot back…” he said softly before adding, “right foot to the left.”</p><p>Neither of the two teared their gaze from one another. Roman smiled lightly at the slight concentration in Janus’ eyes.</p><p>“Now the opposite way. Left foot forward… right foot forward… and left foot to the right.” He smiled. “See? You’re a natural, Janus,” he said softly. Janus blushed and looked down. “Don’t look away from my eyes. I’m here,” he said as they continued to dance slowly. “You are gorgeous, Janus… I could look at you forever and I would still be amazed by your beauty.”</p><p>“Roman-” Janus started, blushing darkly.</p><p>“I’m not done… I want to ask you something,” Roman said. Janus looked at him curiously. What could he want?</p><p>“There you are!” Roman and Janus jumped away from each other on instinct before turning to the door to see Virgil. Virgil chuckled. “It’s good to see you two are back at it.” He smiled. “Your Majesty, your brother is looking for you… he wants you to… make the marriage official…” he muttered.</p><p>Janus frowned as he started feeling floaty. He looked at Roman and Virgil as they spoke, unable to make out what they were saying, adding to his hazy sight.</p><p>Virgil glanced at the boy, noticing him quickly getting paler. He frowned, taking a step closer. “Janus?” he called.</p><p>Janus blinked slowly, feeling his knees give out. “... Roman…” he said, almost as a whimper as he collapsed.</p><p>“Janus!” Roman said, accidentally louder than intended, as he caught him in time so he didn’t hit his head against the railing.</p><p>Virgil looked at him for a moment. “I believe there are no free guest bedrooms tonight… take him to your room. I’m going to get Remus and Mr. Baker,” he said, turning on his heel to leave.</p><p>“Get the doctor, too.” Roman glanced at him as he ran a hand through Janus’ hair. Virgil frowned. “I want to be sure it’s nothing serious,” he added.</p><p>“It isn’t, Roman-” Virgil started, only to be interrupted by Roman.</p><p>“You can’t know that! What if it’s the Spanish influenza?” he snapped. Virgil rolled his eyes. “Or diphtheria?” He turned to Janus, who whimpered softly, still unconscious. Roman ran a gentle hand down his cheek, trying to comfort him. “He’s warm… if it’s not serious, we’ll know for sure, go get them.”</p><p>Virgil sighed and bowed before leaving back inside.</p><p>-</p><p>Virgil got back to the party and sighed. He looked around, trying to find Remus, Patton, and the doctor. He spotted Remus and let out a sigh of relief. “Remus!” he called as he got to him. “Roman needs you. Janus suddenly collapsed and he’s just terrified. Get the doctor, take him to Roman’s room I’ll get Mr. Baker.”</p><p>When Remus saw Virgil, he smiled, but he wasn’t able to say a word as Virgil started talking. He frowned as Virgil told him what happened. “Alright, meet you there?” he asked as Virgil told him what to do.</p><p>Virgil blushed lightly and smiled, gently brushing his hand against Remus’. Something they’d both agreed meant a kiss in public. “Meet you there, my Duke,” he said before walking away to find Patton.</p><p>Remus smiled lightly, looking back at Virgil for a moment, and walked around to see if he could find the doctor.</p><p>Virgil found Patton and walked over to him. “Mr. Baker, I need your help… something happened.” Patton frowned worriedly. “I don’t think it’s… fatal, but Roman is terrified of losing Janus… I don’t think I’m the most comforting person.” Patton nodded and Virgil started leading the way up the stairs.</p><p>Only to be stopped by /someone/.</p><p>“Lord Stein,” a female voice called, much to Virgil’s distress. “Where’s Roman?” she asked.</p><p>Virgil turned to look at her. He bowed lightly. “My Queen. He’s… indisposed, I’m afraid,” he said. “The party was a little bit much, I’m sure he’ll be back as soon as he feels better. You don’t need to worry about that, he’s being taken care of. And, if not there yet, the royal doctor is going to make sure everything is alright.” He gave her a small smile.</p><p>“Is he okay?” she asked. “Can I do something to help?”</p><p>Virgil shook his head lightly. “Not for now. All he needs is rest. I will be sure to let you know or send someone to tell you if there’s anything you can do.” He smiled before bowing. “My Queen.” He glanced at Patton and they continued to walk up the stairs.</p><p>Patton sighed. “That was close… what do we do if she comes up to check on Roman?” he asked, looking at Virgil as they walked down the long corridor to Roman’s room.</p><p>Virgil bit his lip and glanced at him, staying quiet for a moment. “Play the part,” he said. “Let’s not worry about that,” he said. “We need to make sure Janus is alright.” Patton nodded and ran a hand through his hair.</p><p>“What happened to him, anyway? Is it bad?” he asked, slightly worried.</p><p>Virgil looked down. “He fainted. I don’t think it’s serious… it has been a strange day for him… or week, really. But Roman is scared that it may be something a lot worse,” he said. “Roman may need a little bit of reassurance, can you do that?” he asked as they reached the door to the King’s room. Patton nodded, smiling lightly, and Virgil opened the door.</p><p>Fuck. The doctor was already there. He was sick of using titles with his friends. He glanced at Roman, who was trying not to be extremely obvious as he looked at Janus’ unconscious form laying on the bed.</p><p>“Your Majesty,” he said with a bow. “This is Mr. Baker, a close friend of Mr. Dorman, can he stay here with us?” he asked, looking at Roman.</p><p>Roman smiled lightly. “Of course, come in,” he said. Patton bowed as Virgil pulled him inside the room and closed the door behind them.</p><p>Virgil nudged Patton towards Roman and gave him a small nod. Patton walked over to Roman and Virgil smiled lightly. He looked at Remus and walked closer. “Any news?” he asked.</p><p>Remus looked at him and looked back at Janus. “It’s not a terrible infection like Roman thought, but he does have a relatively high fever… he can’t go home like this,” he explained, looking at him for a moment before glancing at Roman. “He can’t stay here for long. Not on Roman’s wedding night. It would raise chaos and confusion if he were found in Roman’s room…” he said. “And chaos is my thing,” he quickly added, trying to hide his worry for his brother’s reputation.</p><p>Something people didn’t know about the twins was that Remus was actually a day older than Roman. No one really found out and, when the time came, Remus decided to step down and let his brother be the heir. Everyone knew Roman was the best choice to become king.</p><p>Patton glanced at Janus and back at Roman with a small, reassuring smile. “He’ll be fine, I promise,” he said, sounding so sure it almost took away all of Roman’s doubts. Almost. “Well, he hates it when people know but he wasn’t the healthiest child. He used to be great and collapse the next second. Especially when he was experiencing an overwhelming emotion.” Roman glanced at Janus, not looking away from him. “Trust me, I’ve grown up with him, he’ll be alright in a couple of days.”</p><p>Roman looked at him for a split second before turning back to Janus. “Are you sure?” he asked quietly, not really wanting the doctor to hear it. “What if it’s not it?” He was afraid. He already lost him once. He wasn’t going to lose him again. Ever.</p><p>Patton sighed and glanced at Janus. “Yes… I’m sure. It’s not something you need to be worried about, Your Majesty.” He smiled. “He will be alright within a couple of days.”</p><p>Remus sighed, hearing Patton. “But he can’t stay in here for a couple of days. It’s the King’s wedding night. And all the other rooms are full. There isn’t much we can do,” he pointed out. He looked at the doctor and smiled. “You can leave now, we will call for you if something changes,” he said.</p><p>The doctor bowed and left, closing the door on his way out.</p><p>Roman frowned. “I’m not kicking him out, Remus,” he said. “He’s sick. He’s staying here.”</p><p>Virgil sighed. “Roman, Remus is right. He can’t stay in your room and all the guest rooms are unavailable,” he said. “I’m quite sure some people from the service are at the beach house preparing everything for the honeymoon. Maybe he can stay in one of their rooms,” he suggested. “He wouldn’t be alone and you’d be close to him.”</p><p>Roman bit his lip. “If he really won’t be alone…” He sighed. “Alright, but I still don’t like the idea of leaving him…” he trailed of, sitting on the bed and gently running a hand through Janus’ hair.</p><p>Patton gave him a soft smile. “You won’t be leaving him alone. I’ll be there with him all the time,” he reassured. “Don’t worry.”</p><p>“The reception should last for a couple more hours, I’ll go get the room ready for tonight,” Virgil said. “Remus, Patton, are you coming?” he asked, looking at them. He knew Roman well enough to know he was just being polite. He didn’t want them there anymore. He wanted to be alone with Janus until the reception was over.</p><p>Patton and Remus glanced at Roman for a moment before nodding and following Virgil out of the room.</p><p>That was when Roman allowed tears to fall. Tears he had been keeping in since he was told to break it off with Janus. He looked down at Janus.</p><p>“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for hurting you… for letting it go so far…” he trailed off quietly, taking Janus’ hand. “I know you’re not going to leave me… but I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let anything happen to you… what kind of King am I if I can’t protect you? How am I supposed to protect everyone if I can’t protect the most important thing to me?”</p><p>A whimper filled the room and Roman froze as Janus’ eyes fluttered open. Roman smiled as Janus tried to quickly sit up.</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay. Lay down, you need rest,” Roman said as softly as he could, not bothering to wipe away the few tears that had fallen.</p><p>Janus looked around as he let Roman push him back down. “What… where…?” he trailed off, looking at Roman with a small frown.</p><p>Roman bit his lip and sighed. “You collapsed. Seemingly overwhelmed with emotions. Or that’s what everyone said… I took you to my room to make sure you were safe,” he explained. “God, Janus, I was so worried about you.” Janus looked away. “Hey, it’s not your fault, okay? It’s not something you could’ve controlled.” he said softly.</p><p>Janus looked at him and seemed to melt. “I love you so much, Roman Kingsley… and I can’t even begin to think why or when it was that this happened…” he said softly. “And I know it’s your wedding night and the last thing I should be doing is tell you all this, but… I am hopelessly in love with you and I don’t want anyone to get in the way of this… whatever this is, if it isn’t us.”</p><p>Roman smiled. “Now that… it’s something I can do. No one else will ever get in the way, I promise,” he said before kissing him softly. He smiled lightly as Janus kissed back and deepened the kiss.</p><p>-</p><p>Janus hummed as he walked into his room. One month had passed, and he and Roman had been together as much as they could back in the castle. Roman would come up with the most ridiculous excuses to move back the honeymoon or just see him. But, thankfully, no one dared to question the King.</p><p>Sadly, reality called after a few days, no over a week. And Janus headed back home with Patton. He hadn’t seen or heard from Roman since then, but he promised to visit after the honeymoon.</p><p>And Janus couldn’t wait to see Roman again.</p><p>As he reached his bed, he heard something outside. He grabbed his knife just in case and turned. It was dark. So, better safe than sorry. He bit his lip as he saw something sparkly jump over the balcony.</p><p>He smiled, frozen in place. It was him. He was back. He dropped the knife and jumped into his arms as soon as he stepped into the light of the room. “Oh my God… you’re back!” he said excitedly as Roman kissed his hair. “I missed you so much, Roman…”</p><p>Roman pulled back and looked down at him. “I missed you, too, Janus… and of course I came back. Did you expect me not to?” he asked, to which Janus shrugged. Roman tilted his head and ran a hand through Janus’ hair. “I am not leaving you again, I already told you, and I’ll tell you as many times you need to hear it,” he reassured.</p><p>“All I need right now is you to kiss me,” Janus said with a hint of sass in his voice.</p><p>Roman smiled and leaned in closer. “Your wish is my command, Mr. Dorman,” he said before crashing his lips against Janus’ with more passion than ever. He stepped forward, making Janus step back before being picked up, never breaking the kiss.</p><p>Janus was sat on the bed before Roman pulled back, getting a whine from Janus. Roman smiled. “You are so gorgeous, Love.” Janus blushed lightly, looking up at him.</p><p>Roman went to kiss him again, only for Janus to stop him. He frowned as Janus opened his mouth to speak. Was he going to break up with him? Had he realized the pain wasn’t worth being back together?</p><p>“What is it with you and balconies?” he asked, tilting his head. Roman chuckled. “Two out of three times you’ve been in this room, you’ve come in through the balcony… do you hate doors?”</p><p>Roman smiled. “Well, I like surprising you, and the balcony is the easiest way to do so… also, I may have realized that your name starts with a J and mine with an R… and I may or may not want this relationship to be like Romeo and Juliet modern day.”</p><p>Janus rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Well, you do know how that story ended, right? I’m not going to die- or, fake die for you,” he said. “Plus, why am I Juliet?” he asked. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s great but… all that dying for love thing isn’t my style…”</p><p>Roman shrugged. “The universe decided it. Our names match perfectly with the story.” He smiled. “And you are /exactly/ like Juliet, Janus. You poisoned yourself to skip my wedding, remember?” Janus’ eyes widened and Roman chuckled. “I overheard Virgil talking about it with Remus.” Janus pouted and Roman kissed him softly. “I think it was cute… and romantic.”</p><p>“Okay, first of all, I didn’t mean to, I expected to fall asleep until the ceremony was over so I could stay home, but Virgil dragged me there… and second, you are the romantic one in this relationship, Roman.” He raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Roman sighed and nodded. “Fine, just because I love you.” He smiled, pulling him closer for a kiss. Longer than the previous ones as they were both out of breath when Janus pulled back. Both blushing and wanting to kiss again.</p><p>That night, all they did worth mentioning was kiss and hold each other close until the Sun rose.</p><p>-</p><p>“Janus?” Roman asked softly, running a hand through his lover’s hair as they cuddled in bed. Janus hummed in response, keeping his eyes closed. “How long have we been together?” he asked.</p><p>Janus frowned and looked up at him. “Do you mean before or after you broke my heart?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Roman rolled his eyes and pouted. “After. How long has it been? Since the wedding, I mean,” he said.</p><p>Janus bit his lip and thought for a moment. “Um… 3 years and almost 4 months… why?” he asked, tilting his head a bit.</p><p>“That day, you asked me to change the world, to make it a place where everyone is free to love. And it really… changed something within me… I have been so afraid to do it since then, and it may not change anything for us or the next generation. But I love you, and I want to be able to say that I love Janus Dorman. As bad as things may turn out to be from now on.” Janus looked at him confused, sitting up as Roman did the same. “I don’t know what’s going to happen… and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep my position as king… things aren’t really looking good for anyone.”</p><p>Janus frowned. “What… what are you saying?” he asked. “You are the king. Everyone is losing everything… all those people need you to guide them through it, Roman- I need you to guide me through it… Patton’s family is also losing so much… I need you.”</p><p>Roman smiled lightly and kissed him softly. “I’m not leaving you, Janus. Don’t worry. I just- things are uncertain and I only know that I’m in love with you. And we can’t make it official or we’ll both be hanged… but, please, be mine?”</p><p>Janus froze, looking at him in shock. “A- are you… proposing?” he asked shakily. Roman gave him a nervous smile, looking at him hopefully. “I- did you ever doubt I’d say yes?” he asked. “Of course!” He smiled, kissing him lovingly. “Of course, I’ll be yours. Forever.”</p><p>-</p><p>
  <em>The bell rang, but none of the students moved. Everyone’s eyes were glued on the teacher. The classroom was silent as everyone waited for the story to continue. The teacher smiled lightly. He didn’t remember a time when his students were so quiet during a whole two hour class. It was unheard of.</em>
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  <em>He went over to his desk and turned to the students. “Class dismissed, you can all go home now,” he said. But, still, no one moved an inch. “Any questions?” he asked, hoping to make at least someone react.</em>
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  <em>One of the students, a boy named Emile spoke up. “How do you know all that, Mr. Starlight?” he asked. “Some of those events seemed very private, especially his encounters with Janus Dorman. I don’t think it’s possible he left them written somewhere or… I don’t know, told his kids.”</em>
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  <em>The teacher smiled. “That, Emile, is a wonderful question. Is anyone else wondering how I know all that?” Everyone nodded and he smiled. “As some of you may know, Roman Kingsley died in the year 2000.” A few students nodded again. “He had a son, who never got to be prince after the royal family was forced to step down in 1931. His son, had another son in 1963, at the age of 32. Who, in turn, had another in 1990,” he explained. “He’s 30 now, and he got to spend time with Roman, his great grandfather.”</em>
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  <em>Everyone listened eagerly, wanting to know more about the family tree of former King Roman Kingsley.</em>
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  <em>“His name is…” He grabbed a whiteboard marker and started writing down the name of Roman Kingsley’s descendant. A few gasps were heard across the room and he smirked. “Logan Kingsley.”</em>
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  <em>“You are Roman’s descendant?!” Emile asked. “But…. your last name is Starlight,” he said, slightly confused.</em>
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  <em>Logan smiled. “That’s because I’m married. And keeping my last name would take away the surprise, wouldn’t it?” he said. “Come on, go home now, you should’ve left over five minutes ago.” He chuckled as everyone started packing their things and mumbling about what they’d just learned.</em>
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  <em>Logan turned and packed his things as well. “Mr. Starlight?” Emile said softly, getting Logan’s attention. He was with a few other students. “Is there more to the story? Did they really stay together forever?” he asked.</em>
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  <em>“Well, if you’d like I can tell you more the next day and show you something,” Logan said as the students agreed before walking out of the class.</em>
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  <em>Logan grabbed his bag and walked out, heading to the place he’d been dying to go since the class started and the students asked to know about Roman.</em>
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  <em>He walked silently, not even watching where he was going as he’d been going there for years. As he arrived, he noticed mist around the stone mausoleum. He set his bag on the ground as he walked in.</em>
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  <em>He smiled, walking over to the sculpture he was looking for and sitting on the floor by its feet. “I’m telling the world like you wanted. The world is changing now… I’m married and the students loved your story. People have a chance to love now. Thanks to you. You /are/ changing the world,” he said.</em>
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  <em>He stood up and went to the stone carved with the names of the people buried there. He smiled as he read them.</em>
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  <em>‘Roman Louis Kingsley. - 1903-2000’</em><br/>
<em>‘Remus William Kingsley - 1903-1985’</em><br/>
<em>‘Virgil Thomas Steele - 1906-1979’</em><br/>
<em>‘Patton Heart Baker - 1905-1952’</em><br/>
<em>‘Janus Trevon Dorman - 1908-1979’</em>
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  <em>They were still together. And they would be forever.</em>
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